Kyle's mission
by CreekGnomes
Summary: "My name is Kyle Broflovski, I am (was?) nearly 17 years old. Today, I died." When Kenny makes a deal with God, a deal that will have his 'gift' passed onto someone else, Kyle finds himself revived and brought back to Earth, but on one condition. He has two months to get all his friends together, as fate intended - Will he succeed? Multiple pairings.
1. Prologue

"I...don't understand." My watery eyes flitted around the room, seeking for some other life form, or even an inanimate object, just _something _that isn't, you know, an parka-clad immortal or a completely blank, white, ceiling and flooring.

"I don't expect you to! Look, Kyle, I'm tired of this power. And I'm fucking sick of all this drama! I'm giving you a chance, Kyle. A chance to give your friends good lives. How could you refuse?" He was right. I couldn't turn down the offer. Allow me to explain.

My name is Kyle Broflovski, I am (was?) nearly 17 years old, and my boyfriend was called Stan Marsh. Today, I died. I'm not sure how exactly, I can't really remember. One second I was crossing the road, the next I was in Kenny's arms, eyes drooping as he flew me to the afterlife, and listening to him ramble on about how he could finally free himself of his gift...or curse, as he preferred to call it.

So what do I have to do? Well, Kenny gave me five instructions, not necessarily in that order, which I will detail in a list below. I guess I hadn't lost that habit, which I'm grateful for.

1) **Change my identity.** Since I died, but am going back to Earth, it makes sense that if I'm going to have a new life, I'm going to have a new appearance. Besides, scaring my friends the fuck out or giving them hope I'm alive again - I can only stay on Earth for 2 months - isn't how I would want things to turn out.

2) **Make peace with my death, and accept that when the times comes, I will pass away, again.** But it will be alright, I guess. I have Kenny to keep me company... Wait, on seconds thoughts!

3) **Help my friends get over me.** Easier said than done. How can I possibly be able to get Stan to move on? Sure, one day, he will. But not in a few months! There's also the minor issue of getting seriously depressed and jealous; Kenny suggested I should set Stan up with someone... How will I find the strength to do that?

4) **Get my friends together.** This is actually a task I might enjoy. Craig and Tweek. Pip and Damien. Cartman (bleugh) and Wendy (Bitch). Token and Clyde. Butters and... Well, Kenny hasn't thought of someone for him yet. I think Kenny doesn't really want to even consider it, much like I don't want to for Stan. Even though I know Kenny wants to stay dead, stop dying all the freaking time, I know how much he already misses his boyfriend.

5) **Get back to Heaven.** Yes, I got into Heaven. Turns out religion isn't all that important, as long as you didn't commit any of the main sins.

"I'll do it.'

If only I knew what I was in for...


	2. Chapter 1

I chose to be a girl.

Okay, okay, I know what you want to say... but I have multiple reasons for doing so!

1) I want to carry on looking like me, red hair and all, but how can I have that and not get noticed as Kyle? The answer was simple. Be the girl version of myself, no matter how much it disgusted me.

2) What if the boys started hitting on me? God reassured Kenny who reassured me that all the boys were gay as rainbows, and so wouldn't go after the girls, so what if I was a boy? If I'm going to try and get them all together, I'll be spending a whole lot of time with all of them, and I couldn't have them trying to date me! That would screw everything up! Especially if Stan noticed the personality similarities and tendencies and tried to date me again... If I was girl, he probably wouldn't care enough to observe.

3) I could get help from the girls at school. I'm sure I'll make enough friends to get some of them to help me in my endeavours. Wendy and Bebe, particularly. They're always nicking Tweek's coffee thermos just to see Craig's angry face at someone trying to mess with Tweek.

4) I kind of... wanted to be one?

Like I said, I'm just the female version of myself. God gave me a shitload of money to spend, and so I'm already accessorised with clothes and whatnot. Oh, and the added bonus! God's arranged for my period to start...never. For which, I am thankful. Immensely.

Right now, I'm staying in a hotel on the edge of town. Kenny's given me this walkie talkie thing, so if I get stuck, for example when someone asks where my parents are or who I live with, Kenny would give me a cover story.

It's pretty sweet.

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I walk into school casually. I tied my curly, red hair up into a ponytail, stuffed my legs into black, denim skinny jeans, pulled on a plain black shirt then topped it off with a dark blue hoodie and sneakers. If I do say myself, I look pretty cool...for a girl.

I'm not sure who did it, Kenny or God, but someone brainwashed the teachers and students into thinking I was the new girl attending South Park & West Park high, which they had been notified about months ago. As I walked down the hallway, I snuck glances at my former classmates. I saw Tweek whispering in Craig's ear, clutching him anxiously like I was going to bite him or something. I arrived at my locker, and started to unpack my rucksack, when a hand landed on my shoulder. I turned around.

"Hey, baby. Haven't seen you in these parts before." Just judging by the content of his sentence, it wouldn't be stupid to say I thought it might be Kenny, coming down to Earth for some reason. But no, it was Clyde. Great.

"I just moved here." Was my swift reply, turning back to close my locker. He smirked and stuck out a hand. I remembered something. Clyde shouldn't be hitting on me! He's supposed to be with Token!

"Clyde." He informed me, unaware that I already knew. I smiled at him, pissed off that this was going to be so much harder than I thought yesterday.

"...Chloe." I told him, shaking his hand. I bit my lip, and slugged my rucksack back over my shoulders. He rolled his eyes.

"Allow me to take that for you, Miss Chloe." I handed him my rucksack timidly. "Maybe I should show you around these parts, hm?" I nodded, looking around for any of my other classmates. The bell went, and it appeared that they had been holding out on me or something. Craig and Tweek, who I had already saw, were still against the wall, talking about something. Tweek seemed to get madder and madder, before he stormed off, pulling at his hair and twitching his eye. What was that about?

I didn't have much time to think as Token and Jimmy came up, scowling at Clyde. Clyde smirked, again.

"Chlo," I held back a sigh. "These are my friends, Token and Jimmy. Craig and Tweek should be in class soon. Oh, and if you stare at Tweek for his tics or anything, you're dead meat. Craig is like Tweek's human bodyguard." I relaxed. Getting Tweek and Craig together would be easy, but what about that fight?

"Who's this?" I heard a low, depressing tone say as Clyde steered me into the classroom doorway. I froze, and Stan did too, just for a second. My heart beat fast as he stared at me, a sliver of recognition in his eyes.

"C-chloe." I stuttered, and Stan's eyes clouded over. My face fell at his appearance. He had gone goth again, like the time Wendy broke up with him, but much, much worse. He had even taken off his hat. He looked thin, and tired, black bags underlining his eyes, and it had only been a week since I died.

"Stan." He muttered, and returned to his seat, immediately letting his head fall into his arms, shutting the world, well, the rest of his classmates, out. My eyes already felt teary but I did my best to push them back. I felt lips at my ear, and resisted the urge to cringe away.

"He's been kind of emo since Kyle died. We're not sure if he'll snap out of it. They were...together, you know." Yes, I know. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, composing myself. I didn't hear a certain chullo-clad boy enter the room.

"Hey, this is Chl-" Clyde was silenced by a middle finger. I rolled my eyes at his addiction to non-verbal obscenities and Craig noticed, flipping me off too.

"I don't really give a fuck." He growled, walking to his seat in the far corner. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, seeing him grab his phone and ring someone, face taken over by a new expression. Worried. He was probably calling Tweek.

I looked over my shoulder to see the clique stroll into the classroom, all smiling at me. They introduced themselves.

"Wendy."

"Bebe."

"Annie."

"Red."

"Lola."

"Rebecca."

"Nicole."

"...Lisa Berger!"

How I could get through this, I don't know.


	3. Chapter 2

I spend the rest of the day with Clyde as my shadow. Seriously. Due to my _fantastic _luck, I share _all _of my classes with him. I don't even like Clyde that much. He's way too vain for me, and kind of a douchebag, which is weird for such a crybaby.

He's doing it right now. When I finally got out of school, after meeting loads of people I knew already, he was still by my side, insisting on walking me home. I'm not too sure why he wants to hang around me so badly. Yes, I made myself hot - I couldn't help it - but he's supposed to be gay!

"I cant believe Token is getting back with Nicole, even after what she's done to him." Oh yes, thats why. To make Token jealous. I'm not sure if I should be happy or mad about it. "What do you think?" I hold back a sigh as we walk out the school gates, settling on sticking my hands in my pockets as, once again, Clyde has taken my bag; to prove his masculinity or something, I don't know.

"Nicole seems kind of nice, what do you have against her?" I ask, keeping up the act of the oblivious new girl. Of course, I know already. Nicole may be one of my worst girl enemies, which makes it worse that she seems to want to be my best friend... I'll tell you about that later.

"Well, to start off, she's cheated on him twice." He tells me, and I glance at him, seeing how his brown eyes have narrowed in anger. His face softens as he turns to look at me, too.

"...why do you care so much?" I bite my lip, cringing mentally. I should _not _have said that. Since when did I get so blunt? Ah, stupid girls. He splutters.

"Because! H-he's my best friend..." He trails off, looking flustered. I redirect my gaze to my feet, allowing myself a smile. Sure, that's it Clyde.

"Oh, this is my road." He says awkwardly, nodding at me as if I asked a question. I tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

'Um, okay." I mutter, wrapping my arms around and hugging myself as the wind picks up. Thank god I have a ponytail or I wouldn't be able to see right now.

"Hey, Chloe? Can I ask you something?" You just did. My eyes droop, but I give him an anxious but encouraging, go-for-it smile. Damn, I'm good at acting.

"Token's having a party tonight. I'll love if you can come..." My face brightens up. A party? Full of drunken, hormonal teenagers? Perfect. I'll have everyone sleeping together by dawn. "I'll pick you up at 9, ok?" He carries on, snapping me out of my thoughts. I jerk my head up, feeling my pupils dilate in fear. He can't pick me up!

"Um, don't worry... I'll walk." And with that, I run off, not wanting or needing to talk anymore.

* * *

_Chloe, are you going to the party? It's Wendy, by the way :) xxx_

I scowl. God, I hate Wendy. I guess I have to spend some time with her in order to get her and Cartman together though. I tap the keyboard, and type back quickly.

_Yep, see you there Wends! xxx_

Don't judge me.

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**Reviews would be top notch :)**


	4. Chapter 3

I'm guided through the mansion, a large hand on the small of my back. I take a deep breath as I slip past all the obstacles, from people to furniture. I catch a glance at an expensive-looking vase. Obviously, that won't stay intact for long.

I can smell the drugs and alcohol from where I stand in the Kitchen. I look down at my slim, black dress I picked out two hours prior. Too much? I see BeBe, who is caked with cheap makeup, as usual, wearing a dress that reveals more than half of her breasts. In comparison, I might as well be wearing a chastity belt. What a slut.

I hear a slight buzz in my ear, and I turn to see Clyde whispering into it. The music is too loud, and I can't hear a word of what he is saying. I just smile and nod instead, simple awkward diversion tactics. Wish I had more, I think, as I see Wendy strolling up to me, beaming,

"Chlo!" She practically screams, though I guess that is ok because we are at a party, after all. She grabs my arms and pulls me into a tight hug. I sigh into her shoulder. She almost pushes me back, grinning at me. I grin back, wondering if she can see how forced it is. I hear a loud, purposeful cough at my side.

"Sorry, ladies, but I have to go find my friend." He leans in and tells us, patting me on the arm, as if comforting me. I can almost feel my eyes lighten up. Which friend? Token? With all the booze in their systems... Perfect. I watch Clyde walk away, vowing to catch up with him later. Wendy attracts my attention as I hear Cartman's name. Oh right, that whole Candy business.

I swear, so many fucking couples…

"He's been such an asshole recently…" That's nothing new. "He won't leave me alone!" She literally whines, and I adjust my cardigan. I grit my teeth and slide an arm around her shoulders, leading her into Token's massive garden. Looks like it's time for the ultimate BFF chat. Yay.

We reach the back door, and flick the light switch on, the one that lights up the porch, and step outside. We both freeze, but I regain my composure quicker and slam a hand over Wendy's mouth. Ugh... Wendy germs…

"I t-thought you loved me!" I hear Tweek cry, and we duck under the table. I sneak a look at her and she sneaks one back. We smile at each other. Okay, maybe she's not so bad. A partner in crime, right? I shake my head and listen in, craning my neck to study Craig and Tweek visually. I see both of them are crying, and at this point, I can honestly say Craig is shaking as much as Tweek.

"I do! Fuck, I love you so much!" Craig sobbed, and I'm almost shocked that his usual nasal voice has been replaced with a somewhat girly one. He tries to take Tweek's hand, but the blonde steps back. I see the hurt in Craig's eyes. Funny, I barely even noticed them after Elementary school, and now I'm thinking about their _body language. _

"Then – nngh – why?" Tweek asks quietly, tears rolling down his face. My breath catches. What did Craig do? "Why did you s-sleep with T-thomas?" Mine and Wendy's eyes go wide. Craig, you asshole.

"You and I just had that fight, and I was confused and angry and plain upset that you never trust me and I-I…" I can see the hysteria rising inside of Craig, and the desperate tone to his voice. Tweek bows his head, looking down. What did Tweek not trust Craig about? Hm, well, it doesn't matter much either way. It was probably some petty argument, that lead to this.

Tweek runs away, and Craig bites his lip, hard. Blood collects on his bottom lip as Tweek slips inside the house, still crying. Craig waits a few moments before breaking down, falling onto the floor and rocking back and forth, hands covering his face. I let out a long groan, but make sure to stifle it with a sleeve.

So what have I learnt so far? I'm guessing Tweek and Craig are dating, had a fight, then Craig slept with Thomas for some pathetic reason.

Oh, it just keeps getting harder.

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**Thanks for all the encouragements!**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay, so I am really ashamed of myself. The length of the past chapters were just... unsatisfactory. I will now be publishing them at this length, and if I violate this promise, you may send me dead babies in the post :o**

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It's been a while since the party, two days to be exact. Not entirely long, but I'm sure the cleaning up after was, considering how many high tailed it out of there the minute Token asked for volunteers. I'm one to talk, I was one of the first out of that door, Wendy's arm linked with mine.

Ugh, I don't have the strength to defend myself on that last statement.

Honestly, I don't. I spent the rest of the weekend trying to work out what to do. Craig and Tweek's relationship was evidently crumbling to dust, Stan never came to the party, Clyde is still firmly playing butch dress up in the closet, Wendy's driving me bat shit insane (but less frequently now), Token is living as a stereotype, Cartman is the same freaking sadistic, apathetic as he always is, Butters is basically a Big Gay Al clone, given no one has a clue Kenny that died (and never will) or even existed, and Kenny…? He's right here now.

That's right bitches. He's freaking teleported from the midst of Heaven just to pop in, say hi and ask how I'm doing. After a few attempts at making plans – it involved some post-screwed up circle maps of blunt, unintelligible ideas – we called it quits and just lay on the bed, exchanging a few phrases every now and then.

"How can I do this?" I sigh, resting my head against the pillow, or more like, burying my head with so much pressure I could fall through the bed's structure directly to Hell. At this rate, that trip doesn't sound so bad.

Kenny looks up, propping himself up on his grubby hands. "_Chloe, _you're the smartest person I've ever met. I don't know how, it doesn't matter anyway, but I _do _know you can do this." He stares at me with an encouraging smile, and I scowl. All this "smartest person I've ever met" shit is tiring. Why can't he admit he just needs me to do his dirty work?

"Asshole." I mutter, holding my head. May seem a little harsh but he is one. After all, if he hadn't lugged his 'problems' onto me, I wouldn't be here, in a pink, hotel – owned dressing gown with long, curly hair getting in my eyes, playing a very dead Cupid.

"Bitch." He offers, and I grind my teeth. Oh, it's on.

"Dick."

"Pussy."

"Whore."

"Slut."

"Cocksu-" I'm cut off mid-swear as he throws himself at me, resulting in a loud and long string of snorts coming from me. His fingers poke at my sides as I squirm, shouting "Stop!", but to no avail. He quits it quickly enough though, knowing there's a point where it stops being funny, and becomes slightly twisted. I mean, who thinks it's sane to want someone to feel immense discomfort, but experience this whilst releasing involuntary giggles?

I pant, smiling at him fondly. He beams back, before rolling off me. He checks the time on his watch, then flips his arm to show me. 1:34am. Shit. I have a big day tomorrow. He grimaces and gets up to stand on his feet.

"I better be heading back, don't want the old man getting angry, do I?" I chuckle and shake my head, getting up to give him a hasty fist bump.

"Good luck."

Yeah, I need it.

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**Reviews keep me going, and it really would be nice to see what you think. I'm really excited about where this story is going, and I hope you are too :)**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ok, I caved in. I'm uploading this, even though I haven't got the two more reviews :(**

**About Fears and Trembles... It was initially going to be just a one shot, but I think I implied it would continue, so looksie, another chaptered fic on the way! Oh dear...**

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I waltz into school, feeling slightly more confident than I did the day prior. Why? I just got a new pair of shoes, and they have heels, and I'm working it. Honestly, I couldn't be prouder that I can walk in them without falling.

What is life.

Straight away I spot Craig in the corner in the form room, his eyes fixated on his phone. I roll my eyes. I can't help but despise him for what he did to Tweek, which makes it harder I'm the one who has to give him his happy ending. If I was the one making rules, I would be spending this time helping Tweek move on, or just bailing on the whole situation. But I'm not, so here I am, off to Sir Douchebag's cave of misery.

"Hi." I mumble, and he looks up, eyes lighting in hope. He flips me off, however, when he realises it's not Tweek, but me. Rude.

"What do you want?" There's a new edge to his voice, an emotional one. It's definitely not a positive one, yet I can't distinguish between whether it's laced with anger, or sadness. I rock myself back on the floor, sitting on my knees as I fold my newly manicured –

Again, what is life.

"Why did you cheat on Tweek?" I ask bluntly, not caring if I just summoned the wrath of one Craig Tucker. I don't mind if I get flipped off again, I just want to know the canon reason he slept with Thomas. There has to be something more than his lame-ass excuse at the party.

"I liked him." He admits, and my eyes widen in surprise. Who is he even talking about? "I love Tweek, obviously, and Thomas can't even compare… But, yeah, I liked him." He sighs. "I had a crush on him, you know? But I promised myself I wouldn't do anything in case it ruined things with me and Tweek…" I nodded, understanding shit a bit more.

"Then we had a fight, and I went round to his house." I assume he means Thomas' house. "I was just upset, and needed a friend. Thomas just… came onto me… I couldn't help myself." I stare as I see tears protrude from his eyes.

"What was the fight even about?" I ask carefully, fully interested now. He glares at me.

"Why do you want to know?" He suddenly hisses, clenching his fists after wiping away the wet from his eyes. I bite my lip and try to look as innocent as possible.

"I just want to help, Craig." I say truthfully, laying a hand on his shoulder. He nods, and answers my question.

"His dog just died." Wait, Craig fucked another guy the same day Tweek's dog died? Fucking cold. "And he had somehow gotten it into his head I had fed the damn thing poison when I watched him for Tweek the other day..." He sniffles. "I think he was probably hyped up on meds, but I was so pissed I didn't even try to calm him down." I see his cheek twitch, and know he just bit the inside of it,

"He called me the worst boyfriend ever, and that he hated me, so I just stormed out. Then…then…well, you know what happened. When Tweek finally came to his senses, he came to Thomas looking for me, and saw…he saw…" He got up suddenly, and almost disappeared as he fled the room, nasally sobs erupting from him.

Well, fuck.

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**Next chapter: Talking to Tweek, Token or Stan?**

**It's up to you :)**


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